Posted in Faith

Nine Rules for Learning to Pray (Because Chris Pratt Told Us To)

Y’all. Chris Pratt.

Have you heard about this?  That man stood up on the stage at the MTV Movie and TV Awards last week and basically took everyone to church, Peter Quill style.

He had “nine rules for living” to pass along that included bits about pooping at a party and giving a dog medicine, but ALSO included a promise that God is real, a reminder that we all have immortal souls, a declaration that none of us are perfect but there is grace for us that was paid for with someone else’s blood (I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!), and a directive to LEARN TO PRAY.

You can watch that speech here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EihqXHqxri0

Or just read the nine “rules” here: https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/18/entertainment/chris-pratt-mtv-movie-tv-awards-speech/index.html

But. You guys. ACTUAL STAR LORD has told us that God is real and we should learn to pray.

But, like, how?  He told us it’s easy, and he’s exactly right.  But, we humans are very good at taking easy, breezy, beautiful things and making them way over-complicated and bogged down with our own baggage and issues and nonsense.

Whether we’ve never actually prayed before, used to pray and have gotten away from it, or pray all the time every single day, we could all use a back-to-basics moment to help us step into this challenge handed to us straight from Jurassic World by Owen himself.

9 Rules for Learning to Pray

9 Rules for Learning How to Pray

  1.  It’s easy–  Andy Dwyer said it, you guys, and there was no lie in him.  If you can talk, you can think, you can feel, then you can pray- and do it WELL.
  2. There is no wrong way–  This is not like learning to deadlift at the gym.  You’re not going to get your form wrong and pull a hamstring that injures you, God, and the entire universe. The only way to get praying WRONG is not to even try.
  3. God is HERE for you and your prayers.  God isn’t butthurt that you haven’t prayed in awhile.  He’s not going to give you the side eye like, “Well, it’s ABOUT TIME you showed up.” He’s not too busy. God is not subject to the confines of time, space, and human pettiness. This Father is all grace, all love, all patience, and all about His children- aka you and me.
  4. Start with your heart- If you don’t know what to say, just talk to God about what you’ve been thinking and feeling lately.  Feeling lonely? Feeling grateful for something? Did someone or something hurt your feelings?  Are you really excited about something happening soon?  Are you worried?  Angry? confused? down and not sure why? Tell God about it.
  5. Bring your faith struggles–  Maybe you’re not quite sure as Emmet Brickowski is that God is real.  Possibly you’ve felt abandoned by Him in the past. Could be that you’ve experienced hurt, rejection, or betrayal at the hands of Christians and the church.   TELL GOD ABOUT IT! That is actually POWERFUL prayer material, God knows how real the struggles are for us and wants to help us find our way through it.
  6. You can ask Him for help–  “Lord, teach us to pray.” It’s in the Bible. Twice. In Matthew 11 and Luke 6. The disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. We can ask the same thing.  And you know what? God knows how to communicate better than we do, He’s strong where we are weak, He can reach down when we can’t reach up.  Say, “Dad, I want to get to know you better.  Will you teach me?” What Father wouldn’t jump at the chance?
  7. I am Groot- Still don’t know what to say?  Can’t find the words to express all of the thoughts and feels?  God’s got it covered. Romans 8:26 says, “…we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.”  The Holy Spirit is Rocket to our Groot.  He knows what we mean, He can translate, He can respond.  If all we can muster is “I am groot…”  Rocket understands.  If words fail, pray anyway.
  8. God does not condemn– God won’t say anything to you that will make you feel bad about yourself, that’s not how He operates.  He will lead you to do better through convincing you of your value, not by condemning you for your shortcomings.  If you start to hear a voice telling you you’re bad, you’re worthless, you’ve messed up too badly- THAT!  IS! NOT! GOD! Tell that voice to sit down and be SILENT! Your Father’s voice is love, anything else is not of Him.
  9. Never stop learning to pray–  We were designed for connection to God.  Our immortal souls CRAVE it, and every single day we can get better at drawing near to Him- and our lives will be better because of it. The more we talk to Him, learn about Him, cling to Him, the stronger we will get.  Life won’t ever be perfect or easy, we live in a fallen kingdom and Jesus assured us that trouble is to be expected. (John 16:33)  But he also overcame the world, and aligning our hearts with that world-overcoming power is something we can get better at every single day.

So have a chat with God today- I would not want to make Star Lord angry, would you?  Sit back, relax, and give it a try.  And then do it again tomorrow.  And keep doing it.

Oh, and as for the dilemma of pooping at a party…there is also such a thing as pocket sized Poo-Pourri.  You’re welcome.

Posted in Friendship

Confessions of a Mommy Pickup Artist

“Making friends as an adult can be really hard and scary, but it sure as heck won’t happen if we don’t try.  Looking for our Sister-moms is a lot like looking for The One when we are dating, sometimes the right person walks into our life at the right moment and it all falls into place, but a lot of times we just need to put in the work of getting to know the folks around us before the right people reveal themselves to us. And even though I’m fighting back against some pretty deep-seated insecurities, the more that I remind myself that friendship is worth working for and that I am worthy of it, the more it starts to sink in that it’s TRUE! The more I tell the negative voices in my head that they can just go ahead and have a seat, the more they stop trying to stand up and sound off in the first place. Even in spite of the inevitable misses that happen, when I don’t connect with someone like I had hoped, just doing the work makes me feel brave and confident and like my insecurities are not the boss of me.  And when I DO make a connection the payoff is HUGE, for me and for my kids.”

This week’s post is a throwback to the first post I ever wrote for the Project Mother Blog. Read more here:

https://projectmother.co/blog/2016/8/16/confessions-of-a-mommy-pickup-artist

Posted in Fun, Mom Power

Three Self-Care Tips (From a Mom Who Sucks At It)

I’ve heard it said that sometimes, people who have been very bad at things can actually be the very BEST people to teach about those things. Wisdom born of struggle, they say, is often deeper than wisdom born of ease.  I’m counting on that to be true because I’m about to talk to y’all about self care.

I am a proud possessor of a first-class ticket on the Self-Care Struggle Bus.  I have always had a pretty healthy (or UNHEALTHY) workhorse complex. I was that way even before I had kids, so when my son was born and I quit my job to stay home with him, it reached critical mass. I always felt like I had to be somewhere doing something for someone, not letting anyone down or missing anyone’s need and yes, proving my worth.

But that, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. I became exhausted, impatient, resentful and was NOT even enjoying this motherhood thing that I had waited my whole life to do. So, I reluctantly (after a scolding or two from my own mother) conceded that “self-care” needed to actually be a thing for me. So embarked on a journey that would require me to get better at doing something I that had a lifelong pattern of proudly sucking at. And I’m still not great at it, work in progress is an understatement.  But, here are a few things I have learned along the way that are CRUCIAL if we ever hope to be successful at taking better care of our minds, bodies, and spirits.

Read more over at the Project Mother Blog:

https://projectmother.co/blog/three-tips-for-the-mom-who-sucks-at-self-care

Posted in Faith, Five Minute Friday

#FMF: Learning to Fly (aka Write)

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done Five Minute Friday!  Here’s the link to this week’s link-up:

http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/06/07/fmf-link-up-fly/


“I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings.”

-Tom Petty

 

What do you suppose it’s actually like for baby birds when they are learning to fly?  When they take those first hops on the branch or in the nest, preparing to spread their wings and take to the sky like their mama bird?

Do you think instinct kicks in and they just follow where nature leads or do you think, as movies would have us believe, that there can be a bit of trepidation involved?  I mean, do birds have personalities and some are braver than others?  Who knows?

For us humans, learning to fly is petrifying.  I’m using flying as a metaphor here, flight representing whatever we want to learn.  We want people to teach us to fly, convince us we should fly, remind us of our flighworthiness. And sometimes we have those people. When I was becoming a teacher, I had a whole slew of mentor teachers, advisors, and professors walking me through the process and cheering me on.

Now, learning to be a writer at 40?  Not so much.  I am completely on my own. And as such, I have felt ill-equipped for this. I have figured everyone else who learns to fly must have some kind of an inside track. They must have, like, studied writing in college. Or have done it professionally.  Or have folks around them who write who are like, “Yes, you should totally do this, let me give you a leg up.”

Turns out, that’s not true.  As I’ve slowly made my way into communities of other writers, I’ve discovered that just about all of them feel as ill-equipped as I do. Each of them is also battling bouts of cluelessness and doubt- even after they’ve actually been published, even those who seem to me like they must be experts and have it all together.

It seems like having no idea what you’re doing is almost a prerequisite for becoming a writer. So if that’s you, jump right in. Learn to fly.

I leave you with this quote from my devotional this morning, Priscilla Shirer’s “Awaken”:

“If you’re sure you’re out of options, if you’re certain that the supplies on hand are nothing compared to the resources He’s made available to someone else, chances are you’ve not taken a second look at what’s already at your disposal.  Ask the Lord to open your spiritual eyes to see how much raw material He’s provided for you to utilize in fulfilling His purposes for this moment. Don’t discount the little things. They can become blessed things if you look at them through the lens of divine possibility.”

Posted in Faith, Favorites

Turns out, Becoming a Writer is a Bit Like Training for a Marathon…

I’ve never been much of a runner. I do it occasionally, but it has never really captured me.

Writing has.  My whole life, I’ve enjoyed it.  I did fairly well in my writing courses in high school and college (when I decided to try, that is) and the ability to express myself “on paper” has served me well in both my personal and professional life.

A few years ago, I started this blog. I had no idea what I was doing and I’ve been writing here in fits and spurts, going around and around about whether or not this was actually what I wanted and WAS CALLED TO be doing with my time.

A couple of months ago, I decided to stop messing around and get serious.  I don’t know if it was God finally releasing me or me finally releasing myself, but I finally decided to stop casually dating writing on the sly and stand up in front of my friends and family and IN THE SIGHT OF GOD make a commitment to it.

So I did.  And the journey began. And I was in no way prepared for how hard it would be.

Man.

And it’s not even the writing that’s the hard part.  Nope, it’s all the other sh…STUFF that comes up and makes me want to spend some days hiding in my closet with a blankie, tea, and my Bible.

If you want to avoid dealing with your own issues, do NOT become a writer. Or do anything else brave and stretchy. Because your sh…STUFF is going to come up and you’re going to have to deal with it.

Like I said, I’ve never been much of a runner- power walking is more my jam (and I do love to power walk). But I have friends who are BFF’s with running and when they talk about stepping up their game from casual morning jaunts to something like a marathon or a Ragnar relay, they describe experiencing something similar to what I’m discovering while becoming a writer.

Moving from casual running to training for longer distances means that little things are going to have a bigger impact. That ankle that starts bugging you toward the end of the third mile of your Saturday morning 5k?  That’s gonna be a much bigger deal when you’ve got 23.2 more miles left to go.  Having trouble sleeping at night? That fatigue is a huge issue when you’re running the distances required to train for a marathon. And you’re definitely going to have to start fueling your body better, those empty calories are no longer going to cut it.

When we stay in the shallow end of the pool, stick to quick morning jogs, or write casually for funsies, we can get by with our brokenness.  Those little things that fester just below the surface can stay under the radar and for the most part, we can pretend they’re not there. But when we do the BIG and the BRAVE and the DIFFICULT, when we stretch ourselves and reach for bigger and greater things, all of a sudden those things rear their ugly heads and REQUIRE that we deal with them, otherwise they’re going to stop us dead in our tracks.

That ankle? For me that’s the comparison trap, I’m terrible about comparing myself to other people (and I ALWAYS end up finding myself lacking).  The sleep issues?  That’s self-criticism. I can be SUPER hard on myself and when it comes to writing, that can be absolutely crippling.  The diet and empty calories?  That’s me needing to be careful about how I spend my time, energy, and attention. If it doesn’t build me up, nourish me, and make me stronger, it’s gots ta go.  Buh-bye.

And it’s hard work. Hard, HARD work. And often times, it’s painful and unpleasant. and it can take a long time, much longer than we would like.

But you know what?  It’s good. And it’s important. And it’s even holy and sacred. We are stronger- MUCH stronger- for having dealt with that ankle and battled back against the comparison trap.

And for me, it’s all underscored by a pressing, frantic, desperate NEED! FOR! GOD!  The One who created me, redeems me, loves me unconditionally, knit me together in the womb, knows my every anxious thought, The One from whom NOTHING is hidden- even the things I’ve been trying to hide from myself.  Anything that deepens my need for Him, causes me to seek Him, allows Him to reveal more of Himself, His nature, and His truth to me is never a bad thing.

Like an aspiring marathoner, I have goals.  Mine isn’t a finish line with a time attached, mine looks more like a book, maybe, and definitely the chance to write and speak to women and moms about our worth, our identity, our strength, and the need to FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES against the lies that Satan tries to sell us.  I’m working every day toward those goals.

But even if I meet my own personal Heartbreak Hill in mile 20 of my race and don’t cross the finish line, I will be so much stronger and better for having done the work.  Guts, grit, and grace are refining me, drawing me nearer to God- and it’s worth it. It’s worth every single time I curl up under the blankets and cry, “I CAN’T DO THIS!” and then do it anyway. It’s worth every time I blast “Not Today, Satan” by KB in my headphones to shout down the lies.  It’s worth fixing this bum ankle and getting my daily nutrition right.

If you can relate to this post, then let me know. Because I want to be praying for you and cheering for you. Praising God and you for the courage you have to take your marathon journey, to do the brave and stretchy thing- the thing that brings up all your sh…stuff and makes you deal with it.

You are a warrior. I am a warrior. And goshdarnit, I AM a Writer.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

A Love Letter to the Hot Mess Mom

Dear “Hot Mess” Mom,

I’m writing to you today to thank you for being you and to let you know that you are my favorite, you are absolutely my people, let’s be besties.  Whether you haven’t showered in three days (or five…or seven), have no idea what’s for dinner tonight, CAN! NOT! seem to keep your house from looking like a cyclone hit it, have never once been on time for preschool drop-off, or haven’t worn anything but sweats in two years because nothing else fits- I think you are glorious.

And those of you for whom your “hot mess” feels a bit deeper, if you’re battling a mental or physical illness that makes you not want to get out of bed or get off the couch, wrestling with demons from your own childhood that have been dredged up by becoming a mom, harboring worry, resentment, and/or stress in your life or relationships that are eating away at you- you are glorious as well and I love you.

Because, my sisters, you are my people. You are the ones I want to sit in my own messy living room and drink coffee with and discuss the realness of life.  You are my jam. I love your messes- OUR messes- because they make us perfect for one another. The knicks in our armor, the rips in the supermom capes, those are the places where we reach out and connect.  They make us accessible to one another and give one another permission to come to connection just as we are.

Read more of this love letter from me to you over at the Project Mother blog:

https://projectmother.co/blog/a-love-letter-to-the-hot-mess-mom

Posted in Favorites

Flashback: The REAL Reasons my Toddler is Crying

Hey, Y’all!  Over the summer I’m going to be re-sharing some old blog posts as part of the weekly rotation.  Here’s why:

  1. Because my readership has GROWN (squeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!) and it’ll give new folks a chance to see some stuff they might have missed.
  2. Because I am working on A PROJECT (squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!) and recycling some old material will give me space to write for the PROJECT (squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!)

I’m kicking off the summer of Flashback Favorites with “The Real Reasons my Toddler is Crying.”  It has been far and away my most-read post ever, more than FOUR TIMES THE HITS of any other post and HALF of my blog hits from 2016 were for this post.

It’s a year and a half later and I still have to re-read it occasionally myself when my patience fails because WE AE STILL CRYING ALL THE TIME OVER HERE.

Seriously.  At the end of the preschool field trip on Thursday, she burst into tears because she didn’t want to go back to school but she wanted to go back to her classroom and she didn’t want to go with me but she didn’t want me to leave her and WHY WAS I GOING TO LEAVE HER!  This one little dude in her class just sat there staring with this expression on his face that was ALL OF US.  Like, “What in heaven’s name is even going on right now?!?!?”

So anyway, here ’tis.  The Real Reasons My Toddler is Crying. (click the link to go to the original post:

https://awingandaprayer.blog/2016/09/05/the-real-reasons-my-toddler-is-crying/